Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Hot Accessory Alert!

According to CNN and various other news sources, Jessica Simpson is planning to adopt a Child at some point in the near future. Says her stylist, Jessica Paster, "A Child can be purchased in brown, black, white, yellow, or red, and comes in several different sizes and skins. It's truly the perfect accessory for all four seasons, daytime or evening." Simpson has not yet selected hers, but friends say she's incredibly enthused about Children, and is therefore likely to snap up as many as the store has in stock. That way, not only can she choose the Child that best suits her outfit and mood on a given day, but she can also easily dispose of and replace one, should it lose its luster, grow, or express the need to be fed. For those of us mortals who lack bottomless bank accounts, and can therefore only afford one, Children will also be available in a limited-run, life-extending taxidermist's edition. Either way, with Jessica on the Child Train, I think we can safely say this: a new trend is born!


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