Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Every Picture Tells A Story, Part II

Lizzie Grubman and Chris Stern's wedding reception at Cipriani 42nd Street last Saturday was a mirthful event for all involved. If you missed out on the action, here's your chance to catch up!

Andy Russell (left):
"Lizzie, run away with me! I know you love me, and you mustn't hide from the truth anymore."

Lizzie Grubman (right), nervously:
"Andy, people are staring at us! This is my wedding party, for God's sake. And don't put your nose so close to my hair, the peroxide fumes have already killed three people tonight."

"I don't care! Let it kill me! I already have sun poisoning from standing within three feet of your UV-saturated skin, so fumes are the least of my worries. Run away with me, Lizzie! We must go tonight!"

"Andy, how would we even leave without everyone in this room noticing?"

"That's easy! We'll hide behind the Patrick McMullan logo that floats around us as we dance."

"Ah, perfect! I am so glad they are covering this event. Just give me a sec to put myself in Reverse..."

Dori Cooperman (second from left):
"Guys, I'm starting to regret trying to one-up Tinsley's horn implants by having this forearm and hand grafted to my neck. Holding my head at this awkward angle all the time is starting to get a little painful."

Daniella Rich (far left):
"Quit your whining, Dori, you know that most women would kill to have a gratuitous appendage like that. And look on the bright side- at least Patrick McMullan listed your full name, which is more than I can say for Mr. "?" to your left."

? (second from right):
"False! If you must know, ? is my actual name. My powerful, mysterious essence, which I am currently attempting to convey facially, transcends language and can only be adequately captured through punctuation."

Goga Ashkenazy (far right):
"Oh shut it, we all know you changed your name to "?" because that's what they always called you anyway."

"Ummmm. Hmmm. Hey, Dori! How's that third hand? I think it just fixed my hair!"

Jason Port:
"Whatever, hair-fixing is nothing. MY third hand holds my cocktails for me!"

Goga Ashkenazy (right):
"Ha! You are all complete amateurs. Serena and I just had our HEADS FUSED, and your puny little hands can't hold a candle to our conjoined skull. Now that we have twice the cerebral matter, we can perform mind-boggling mental feats that we never would have attempted individually. Such as basic addition and subtraction!"

Serena Boardman (left):
"Mrrrrrrrf! Bllllllllllllllb!"

"Enough, Serena. I already told you, Dr. Blobbenstein assured me that he'd reposition your head so you can talk again. I really don't think this warrants a malpractice suit."

Rachel Peters (right):
"Umm...that's all very well and good, guys. But has anyone else noticed that Dori's third hand has separated itself from her neck and is now getting a little too close for comfort to my leg?"

Jeff Goldstein (left), to Jennifer Raines (center):
"Honey, don't let Rachel distract you. The hand is her problem. We need to keep our priorities straight and focus on this very important photo opportunity. This could be our big break!"

"Into what? Lizzie Grubman's wedding album? Look, I'm starting to get really scared...I think this thing is going to grab me!"

Jennifer Raines (center):
"Rachel, do you EVER think of anyone but yourself? Gosh, I look amazing tonight."

Raspberry Tartlet (second from right):
"Dude, I don't know what to make of these people. It's totally surreal."

Strawberry (center):
"Really? And the fact that we are inanimate food products with both a masterful command of the English language and the ability to vocalize it is not?"

Raspberry Tartlet:


Post a Comment

<< Home