The Road More Traveled

The Tinsley Mortimer Report: Spring Outlook

It's looking to be an exciting spring indeed for Tinsley Mortimer. She's been out and about in full force; in fact, this week brought a very exciting DOUBLE New York Social Diary shout-out for her. Let's have a look...

Wednesday's edition:

Here we see Tinsley making copious amounts of mirth at Peter Som's post-runway show at the offices of the 485 Fifth Avenue residences. Sharing the floor with fellow critically-acclaimed socialites Corralie Charriol, Amanda Hearst, Bettina Zilkha, and Dylan Lauren, Tinsley stands out in a gauzy, pink little piece of fabric heaven. Especially intriguing about her ensemble on this occasion is the midsection, which was clearly inspired by the Padaung tribes of northern Thailand. Long necks connote both beauty and refinement for the Padaung, almost as much as anorexia and Restylane do among New York's finest, so Padaung women accumulate neck rings and eventually attain giraffe-like proportions. With this dress, Tinsley is apparently attempting to stretch out her abdominal cavity in a similar fashion. And since anyone who's anyone takes her sartorial clues from Ms. Tinsley Mortimer, I think it's safe to make the following statement: elongated torsos are going to be the rage this spring, so keep those midriffs toned, ladies! It is also worth noting that in the first photograph, Tinsley's expression falls into the extraordinarily rare "open-mouthed smile" category. This divergence from the more typical "full deck of teeth" or "intense squint" is something to keep an eye on. Is this just an aberration, a moment of insuppressible delight precipitated by Peter Som's bitchy witticisms? Or does it signify something much more serious, perhaps even a tactical change in Tinsley's mad dash for the attentions of David Patrick Columbia's camera lens? Whatever the case, she's back in traditional squinting form again by the second photograph, demonstrating both the subtle-yet-slimming sideways pose and the ideal weight distribution so characteristic of this extraordinarily gifted social phenom. We'll see how things progress as the season unfolds...

Friday's Edition:

Here we see Tinsley reveling at the Versace Flagship Store event with the likes of Claire Danes and Halle Berry. Not to be outdone, Tinsley traded her "casual, cascading ringlet" coif for a straightening iron and a healthy dose of 1985. The side ponytail is an interesting choice, emulating the clean lines of her simple, strapless number and black wrap, yet still providing a bit of contrast by pairing Darien Housewife with Rainbow Brite. And while her fully-frontal stance indicates a slight lapse in her typically flawless execution (perhaps she was caught unawares?), she still makes a heroic save with both the sultry gaze and the picture perfect, designer-revealing handbag placement. All in all, I think we can expect great things from Tinsley in the coming weeks. She's at the top of her game, and she's going to give the competition a run for its substantial amounts of money.

posted by She-Ra, Princess of Power @ 4:04 PM