Thursday, March 09, 2006

Every Picture Tells A Story...

Sometimes, however, they need the assistance of a translator. And while New York Social Diary chauffeurs us straight up Park Avenue, past the overly-obsequious doorman and his mildly disturbing interest in 16-year-old Buffy Barrington from 6B, and into the lives and leisure activities of New York's haute societe, there is still something missing. Is it love in Crawford and Lulu Webster-Bartleby's marriage? Brain cells in young Chip Jr.'s head after last night's encounter with a cannister of nitrous, a gravity bong, and two eight balls? Wrinkles on 75-year-old CeCe Dillingworth's face? Well, yes. But also, while NYSD shows us where they are, what they wore, and with whom they gallavanted, it fails to tell us what they said. Therefore, allow me to fill in some of the gaps in this photo-coverage of Lucy Sykes-Rellie and Bettina Zilkha's Victoria's Secret Luncheon and the Preservation Foundation of Palm Beach gala.

Natalie Leeds Leventhal (center):
"And would you believe it?? THAT'S where Barnaby asked if he could put it! So I was all, 'Down, Tiger! At least let me take out the Harry Winstons first.'"

Martha McGuinness & Jackie Astier (all-too-knowingly):
"Hahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahaha!"

Somers Farkas (left)
"Muffie, I have come as Satan's messenger to reclaim your soul, piece by piece. And I will start with the furry adornment on your turtleneck. "

Muffy Potter Aston (right):
"Ha! Somers, your sense of humor is divine! Love the Fembot outfit too, what a riot."

Dana Hammond (center):
"Haha! Haha! Yeah...Muffie...actually, Somers isn't kidding. So I'd stay put if I were you. And when she's done, I'm going to eat you."

Susan Fales-Hill (right):
"Ok, calm down, Honey. I'm sure Somers and Dana didn't mean it. They value your friendship, even if they ARE Lucifer's minions."

Muffie Potter Aston (left):
"Nah, nah it ain't LIKE that, yo. Those bitches were MAD serious! You think I ain't being real wit' y'all? Go ask the damn ho's yo SELF."

Chris Meigher (right):
"Grace darling, I fear that we didn't stay in the tanning booth long enough. I thought we weren't going to leave until we'd changed races!"

Grace Meigher (left):
"But Sweetie, then we'd be black and they wouldn't let us into the party. And it was important that we attend this gala for the Preservation Foundation! After all, they might know of some new preservatives that we can use on ourselves. Wouldn't it be nice if we could find a botox alternative and once again be able to move our mouths when we speak?"

Alan Bleznak (right):
"Did someone say 'preservation'?" Check out this young lady, not a day over twenty-two!"

Cathy Bleznak (left):
"Oh, Alan! It's OK, you can tell them I'm thirty. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"All right, so now they know your age...but they still don't know your secret!"

Cathy (winking):
"Let's just say it involves a human-sized jar of formaldehyde and some quality scuba gear."


At 10:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Natalie, you so aren't going to lose weight by barfing out your ear. Now go put that down your throat and lay off the creme fraiche. Somers is in the bathroom teaching Muffy how to vomit and tan at the same time."

At 5:37 PM, Blogger Maulleigh said...

More More MOre!! That's how I like it! That's how I like it!! More! More! More!! That's how I like it! That's how I like it! You rock. :)


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