Wednesday, April 19, 2006

A Birthing Poem For Little Suri Cruise

Little Suri Cruise:
Welcome to planet Earth!
I'm sure you miss your Home Planet
But you bring boundless mirth
To lovely Mama Kate
And Papa Tommy Cruise
Your name might come from Persians
Or maybe from Hebrews
No one seems to know, in fact
Where "Suri" had it's start
But it ends with you, and thanks to you
Your folks can play their part
See, Mommy signed a contract
And Daddy signed it too
And then he brainwashed Mommy
And then they ordered you!
They used a pretty test tube
With a dose of media spin
And a drop of L. Ron's dogma
(But not one bit of carnal sin)
So Daddy jumped on couches
And Ma became a drone
And Daddy promoted movies
While Mommy grew his clone
And then the Day arrived at last
The paparazzi began to riot!
And Mommy had a pacifier
To ensure that her birthing was quiet
And out you came, O little one
And the world owes you an apology
It's not your fault that your wacky Dad
Combined a good word like "science" with "tology."
I hope for your sake that post-partum depression
Is never in Mommy's presence
Daddy would rather have her eat you
Than put her on anti-depressants
But welcome, Suri, and congratulations!
The CruiseBaby Club is selective
So may all your days be merry and bright
And all your Dianetics effective


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