The Road More Traveled

From Jailbirds to Lovebirds: This Week's Date (see previous posts to meet the Daters)

Welcome back to Meet Market. This week, Pete, a 26-year-old musician who describes himself as "undescribable," was on the prowl for a Heptatis C-free woman with well-disguised track marks. He picked Martha, a 65-year-old Businessperson who compared herself to various craft projects and then supplemented those descriptions with financially-based similes. We thought that, given their recent legal troubles, Martha and Pete would feel most comfortable at a restaurant with its own share of law-related woes. So, we sent them to Benihana, newly invigorated after its victory in the Case of the Flying Shrimp Parts.

She says:
"Our reservation was at 8pm, but I arrived a little early. There was a nice buddha statue near the door, which happened to look like it could seriously benefit from a garland of assorted yarn flowers. I immediately asked the hostess if she could spare some embroidery floss and a bit of floral wire, but she said they were fresh out of both. I had to improvise with some twist-ties i found on garbage bags out by the dumpster! Pete showed up two hours late, but I didn't notice because I was busy papering the light switch plates in the lounge area. When I found him, he was standing by the newly-garlanded buddha statue, clearly in a state of deep admiration (yarn flowers aren't easy to make). I tapped him on the shoulder and said hello. He introduced himself, and I was immediately struck by his beautifully glazed, delicately marbled eyes and lightly greased hair. I knew we were well-matched when he reached out to shake my hand and a small bag of white powder fell out of his pocket. I'd never met anyone else who carried around extra baking powder and flour! We were seated at a rather nondescript table with a large grilling surface in front of it. Luckily, I had some twig coasters and a monogrammed tea cozy in my handbag, so I was able to spruce things up nicely. Once we got to chatting, it turned out that we had so much in common. Both of us had been in prison recently, so we talked for a while about shivs, smuggling, stuff like that. When I asked him about hobbies, he said he was into junk. I couldn't believe it! I explained that I also adored junk, and that I'd built an entire media empire based on making it and making things out of it. Such a coincidence! We both love cooking, too- he even used his miso soup spoon to heat up his "specialty dish" right at our table's grill. Pete wouldn't tell me the ingredients, but it sure looked good. I don't think he actually formed any coherent sentences throughout the course of dinner, I'm now recalling, but his scattered interjections were both informative and charming. And he didn't eat anything because he said he preferred liquid dinners, but that just left more fried rice and hibachi steak for me! I had such a magical, glorious time that night. I would DEFINITELY go out on a second date with Pete."

Rating: ****

He says:
"I was just leaving the police station after my second arrest that day when the Post called and asked why I wasn't at Benihana. I told them to f*ck off, but then they explained that it was free, so I decided to check it out. When I got there, I saw Martha sitting cross-legged in the front entryway. She was very still, but she was smiling serenely, and she was wearing a lovely garland made of yarn flowers. We got to talking a bit, and I was quickly enthralled. She seemed so spiritual and wise, not to mention the fact that she was a great listener. I was immediately at ease, and I wanted to tell her everything! Just when I thought we were really connecting, however, some blond broad tapped me on the shoulder and started talking to me. She had a piece of wallpaper in her hand, and at first I thought she wanted an autograph, but after I introduced myself, I realized that she was actually trying to have dinner with me. I had a mild case of the DT's anyway, so I thought what the hell, why not get a few cocktails out of this? Plus, Martha said she didn't mind hanging around up front for a while. I was reluctant to leave her, but I ended up getting a table with the blond lady. She said she was cool with junk, which was cool with me. I think she even built something out of it, which is totally far out! And there was a nice grill at the table, so I could cook up a little snack for my veins without ever leaving my chair. I pocketed some of the silverware and a few tiki statuettes, too, which is always an added bonus. When Blondie finally took off, I found Martha still waiting for me where up front I'd left her. She was by far the most beautiful woman in the room! We picked up right where we'd left off, and we got on so well that she even agreed to come home with me. I carried her to my car, and we ended up having an amazing night together. I would absolutely, definitely go on a second date with Martha. This woman is incredible!"

Rating:
************

And that concludes this week's Meet Market. Join us again next time...

posted by She-Ra, Princess of Power @ 10:59 AM